hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
