after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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