she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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