Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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