When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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