The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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