garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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