Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
