just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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