I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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