don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
