definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
this is an emotional support booty call
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
