So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
