It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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