I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
