I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
