We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I want to walk on stilts...naked
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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