If i come over, it means nothing
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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