She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Randomize
