sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
