Me. At least after what I've been through.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
