My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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