i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
