I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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