you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
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