I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
