But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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