Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
