How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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