Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
