Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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