Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
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