at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
