He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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