Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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