Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
