She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I just want nice things and good sex
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Randomize
