Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
