Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
do herpes really smell.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
The air was thick with penises
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
