neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
