did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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