i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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