Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
