What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
