so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
