ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
