would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
