david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
