He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
