so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
