porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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